Greetings to whoever stumbles upon this post! I’ve got a lot to say this week, so get comfy. I would like to discuss many different topics including overall psychological health, mental and emotional health, strategies and outlets that can be used to increase psychological health, and the benefits of being psychologically healthy. Mental health and well being is a topic that is near and dear to my heart, so I apologize, as this will get very deep and personal.
First off, I’d like to start by being incredibly vulnerable in sharing my mental health struggles. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. I never felt like I fully had a grip on my everyday emotions and reactions to certain situations. For a while, almost every single day of my life I experienced a complete roller coaster of emotions. It was much harder to manage when I was younger. When I was in middle school, and going through that graceful period in life called puberty, I was mentally a mess. I don’t know how to describe it besides the fact that even at a young age I knew I was not mentally well. My emotions and thought processes were much different than my friends, and not necessarily in a good way. My friends and family members constantly worried about me and checked in on me, and I realize now that it is because not only did I not feel okay, it showed on the outside as well. A middle schooler should not have nearly as many struggles as I was having, so I knew what I was feeling wasn’t “normal” (I don’t like that word, but it fits okay here).
As a young teenager life is confusing enough. I didn’t give credit to my anxiety and depression. I claimed it was normal stress, sadness, being a dramatic teenager, etc. I didn’t want help and I didn’t know how to talk about it. At the time the only person I could be somewhat open with is my mom. She is a great listener and supporter, and for that I am grateful.
Then came high school, and if anyone reading this post had a good high school experience I am sincerely jealous. High school was by far the most trying time in my life. School became more stressful, girls were mean, kids were bullies, and I felt so uncomfortable in my skin. As senior year drew closer, the stress of what college I could afford and get into began to set in as well.
Then, the unthinkable happened. One of my best friends killed himself in January of 2014, just five short months before we were supposed to be graduating high school together. The worst part about all of it was he was the funniest, sweetest kid, and I didn’t know anything was wrong. I wish he had come to me, or any of our friends for help. I had felt guilty and somewhat responsible for quite some time after that, and it took me a long time to come to grips with it. It forced me to reflect on my own mental health issues. As a girl, it is much more acceptable to be emotional and seek help. Young boys feel pressured to show masculinity and emotional strength, and I’m afraid this is why my friend didn’t seek or want help. I felt guilty that I had so many outlets, such a good support system to lean on, and the social acceptance of being open about my struggles. Suicide is most common among young men, and I blame social stigma partially for that. If my situation had been any different and I wasn’t so lucky, who’s to say I wouldn’t have succumbed to my struggles as well?
I took this tragedy and turned into the most important life lesson I’ve ever experienced, and motivation to become mentally healthy. When I realized how many people were affected by my friend’s passing, and the mark he left, it saddened me even more that he maybe didn’t think his physical presence mattered to anyone. It made me want to become better, because I knew I had friends and family who needed me and who deserved to have the best version of me. Not only that, but I knew I deserved to be happy as well.
I have come a long way in my mental health journey. I still struggle with my anxiety from time to time, but have acquired effective outlets that help me to cope with it. I have come into my own much more, and overall feel like I have more control over my life and emotions.
Now that I have shared my personal experience, I want to talk about topics discussed in the chapter that are relevant to my own journey, and psychological health in general. The book describes being mentally healthy as perceiving life in realistic ways, being able to adapt to change, solve problems, and fulfill responsibilities. Being emotionally healthy is described as responding to emotion provoking events appropriately.
Signs of being psychologically healthy include having high energy, taking on challenges, having healthy relationships, and good coping skills. Signs of being psychologically unhealthy include being mostly negative, socially isolated, and often being tired or sick. There are also some signs that fall in between being both healthy and unhealthy, which is what creates the gray area between someone who is struggling and someone who is just having a bad day. That’s why it is important to check on the people around you and make sure they know they are not alone. One of my favorite quotes is “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.
The good news is there are many strategies and outlets for help that can improve your psychological health if you are ever struggling. Some strategies include looking to your support system, getting good sleep, focusing on yourself, remaining physically healthy, and forming realistic expectations. I think that support systems are the most important outlet. There is nothing worse than struggling alone. Talk to your friends, lean on your parents, confide in a therapist… just talk and be open and that alone is usually a weight lifted from your shoulders. As I mentioned earlier, I have always been able to go to my mom for help and it has been one of the greatest comforts in my journey. There are also certain medications and mental health professionals who can aid ones journey toward good mental health.
Being mentally healthy is beneficial to all other aspects of your health. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. As my goal this semester is to eat better and exercise more, I know this can also benefit me mentally, not just physically. Exercising releases endorphins that are proven to heighten positive emotions. Sometimes simple exercise can even help reduce stress and anxiety. A better diet allows you to feel energized throughout the day, and to get a good nights sleep. Reducing my coffee intake has also been helping my anxiety improve, as caffeine can cause anxious feelings to persist.
I have included a picture of my tattoo with the words “Let it be”. I’m a Beatles fan and this is one of my favorite songs. It has also become an important message to me. I got this tattoo after I came to grips with my friend’s death, and the reality of my own struggle. It has served as a positive reminder that I don’t have complete control of what goes on around me, but I can work to control how I react to it. The “B” is blue, as a nod to my friend’s first initial and favorite color.
